It’s the year 2041 and Carlos Tevez and Christiano Ronaldo are reminiscing about the old days........
Christiano - Ey up Carlos, who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd both be sittin' here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?
Tevez - Ay Christiano....But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
Christiano - Because we were poor!! My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son".
Tevez - Aye, 'e was right.
Christiano - Aye, 'e was.
Tevez - I was happier then and I had nothin'. I used to live in this tiny old mansion with 17 bedrooms in a rough part of Alderley Edge.
Christiano - Mansion! You were lucky to live in a Mansion! We used to live in a Castle with only 62 rooms, some of them without an en-suite, all of us huddled together in the banqueting hall, wondering where the next sack of money was coming from.
Tevez - Eh, you were lucky to have a castle! I used to have get up at 9 o’clock in the morning, drive to work in a Bentley that no self respecting millionaire would have been seen dead in, train for two hours a day, and then have to drive myself home again
Christiano - Well, of course, I had it tough. I used to have to employ a driver who never once called me “Your Excellence”, never once groveled at my feet and at the end of the day, actually wanted paying for the privilege of driving me to work and back.
Tevez - Right....i used to have to get up 12 hours after I went to bed, get dressed without any help from anyone, walk downstairs to the car myself, get paid millions of pounds for kicking a football about, fight off fans who kept telling me how great I was, spend hours in designer clothes shops spending money, fly back and forth to Argentina on private jets that someone else paid for, warm up more than once whenever I was on the bench and on top of that, every month I had to cut my own toenails. ...who could blame me for going back home for two months...
Christiano - Ay.....and you try and tell the young footballers of today that..... they won't believe you!.......