NAMING RIGHTS FOR ANFIELD

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NAMING RIGHTS FOR ANFIELD

Postby 27 » Thu Mar 31, 2011 4:54 pm

NEW ANFIELD TO BE NAMED THE ‘DIPPER DOME’

In astonishing news that will shock and anger the red half of Merseyside we can exclusively reveal that Liverpool’s new owners, Fenway Sports group, have reached a tentative agreement with frozen food giants Birds Eye over the possible naming rights to their new stadium, if indeed they do decide to uproot from Anfield.



Managing Director Ian Ayre revealed to BBC Sport this week that, should the club seek pastures new, they are open to the idea of seeking out a commercial partner to help fund the costly exercise. Ideally this will come in the form of offering naming rights to the club’s swanky new stadium.

However, the Cutter understands that an agreement is already secretly in place, with the company that sells a multitude of luminous orange fish fingers and burgers that have the texture of Play-doh.

Worse yet for proud Liverpudlians the name currently being discussed is the alliterative, but morally dubious, ‘Dipper Dome’, in reference to the companies popular chicken dippers product.

Gavin Parsons, a regional sales director for Birds Eye, was initially cagey when we sought confirmation but did divulge that, ‘over half of our national sales for chicken dippers are in the Merseyside area. They can’t get enough of them up there. So it makes sense to capitalise upon that. We can hardly call the ground after our Healthy Options range can we? That would just sound like we were taking the piss.’

It is not yet known whether personnel high up at the club are aware of the ramifications, and outrage, the new stadium name will cause amongst locals due to the word ‘dipper’ having a long-standing negative connotation for the cities residents.

For some rival supporters the derogatory term ‘bin dipper’ is used to imply that folk who derive from Liverpool regularly forage in recycling containers for food, clothing, and potential Christmas presents for their off-spring.

Even, in some instance, in a desperate search for mating partners.

We contacted the club but they understandably declined to comment. However our source within the corridors of power at Anfield did wish to pour cold water over some malicious rumours he’d been made aware of.

‘Under no circumstances will the new place be called the San Giro Stadium. Nor the Aldi Arena. Or indeed the De Do Do Don’t De Dome’ :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



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Re: NAMING RIGHTS FOR ANFIELD

Postby PINKY » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:43 pm

excellent update,thanks.

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Re: NAMING RIGHTS FOR ANFIELD

Postby 27 » Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:48 am

Dalglish signs petition for £15million


Sign of the times: Kenny Dalglish
Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish has signed a petition calling for traffic calming measures outside a primary school for £15million.

Despite being told by campaigners at St Mary’s RC Primary School, in Wallasey, that no money was required to change hands when signing a petition calling for a 10mph limit outside the school gates, the Kop chief insisted on shelling out more than £12million, rising to £15million if Champions League qualification is achieved.

Headteacher Paul Farrington, 43, said: “While we’re glad Mr Dalglish signed the petition, he didn’t really grasp the concept too well.

“He initially offered £8million, but when I pointed out that it wasn’t a question of money, he raised the offer to £12million with the opportunity to make up to £15million based on European qualification and various other win bonuses.

“Mr Dalglish was very forceful and refused to hear my arguments. He outlined his ambitions for the club and assured me it was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I would be fool to turn down. I agreed, he signed, and then he left.”

Dalglish was unavailable for comment yesterday. A spokesman for the Anfield club said he was away on business.

“I believe he’s scouting in Europe,” the spokesman said. “Czechoslovakia, I think. I distinctly heard him say he just had to sign a Czech.

“Oh no,” she added, “you don’t think he meant ‘cheque’ do you? Honestly, he’ll sign anything at the moment, it’s like a disease.” :lol: :lol: :lol:


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Re: NAMING RIGHTS FOR ANFIELD

Postby 27 » Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:57 pm

Cannot be arsed opening new topic so sticking this on naming rights :) :) :)

Newcastle United rename stadium the ‘Mike Ashley Plaything Arena’

Newcastle United football club have taken an important step towards complete laughing-stock status by renaming their stadium the ‘Mike Ashley Plaything Arena’.

The move is said to be a temporary measure whilst owner Mike Ashley seeks businesses willing to pay to have their name pointed at by fifty thousand angry Geordies every other week.

Ashley told reporters, “The Mike Ashley Plaything Arena offers businesses a unique opportunity to annoy hundreds of thousands of north-east residents.”

“Plastering your name all over something they consider to be iconic will ensure they all know exactly who you are. Trust me, I know this better than anyone.”

St James’ Park gone

Club officials have also announced that fan group the ‘Toon Army’ are the subject of another exciting sponsorship opportunity, but will be renamed the ‘Mike Ashley Kiddlywinks’ until a sponsor is found.

“This is the perfect opportunity to have your brand name carried to other football clubs around the country by thousands of intimidating overweight topless men in their forties.”

Though no paying sponsor has yet been found for the stadium, early reports suggest that Sunderland fans having a whip round to call it the “bum gays laughing stock stadium”

Sunderland season-ticker holder Simon Williams told us, “We’ve talked about it, and if they think that sounds a bit homophobic then we’ll settle for ‘Shower of Shite Fields’. :lol: :lol: :lol:


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Re: NAMING RIGHTS FOR ANFIELD

Postby Paul Keller » Fri Nov 11, 2011 1:23 am

Mr Woods sir !
Heard the news this morning !
Just were on earth does the dozy southern fat t*** think he's coming from ??
He's hardly popular in any respect on Tyneside at the best of times !
To change the name from St James Park to the "SportsDirect Arena" is just plain stupid !
For what Newcastle fans and that includes Ant and Dec and Alan Shearer, deserve, for what is pretty undying loyalty,
yet again, he's gone and s*** on them !
Then it's Trooper this, an Trooper that
And Trooper how's yer soul?
But it's "Hawks are bloody 'ero's"
When the tanks began to roll!

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Re: NAMING RIGHTS FOR ANFIELD

Postby 27 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:34 am

Just for you Mr Kellogs.

Newcastle fans convince Mike Ashley that ‘Fat Cockney Bastard’ is Geordie term of endearment

Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has accepted claims by Toon fans that abusive chants directed his way were, in fact, Geordie terms of endearment.

“’F*ck off Ashley’ is a traditional Geordie welcome in the Byker area,” said Newcastle fan Wayne Thomas, 22. “And to call someone a Fat Cockney Tw*t was just our way of saying ‘Welcome to Tyneside.’

“Mr Ashley has just taken all these old Northern sayings out of context, and we just wanted him understand the mix up.”

The Newcastle chants were delivered with venom from the moment the millionaire SportsDirect owner began selling star players, kicking out United legends and insisting on investing in young foreign talent at cut-price rates.

His actions have now resulted in Newcastle sitting in fourth place in the Premier League, into the last 16 of the Carling Cup and boasting a bank balance the envy of most football teams.

Ian Denton, 36, of the NUFC supporters club, has handed in a petition to the Newcastle United owner, signed by more than 40,000 Toon fans explaining the long-running misunderstanding.

“We just thought we’d better clear the air,” said Ian, “Most of the fans have signed it and let’s hear no more about it. Well done Mr Ashley, you’ve done a great job.”

A short statement from the Newcastle United boss confirmed his acceptance of the situation.

“I’d like to thank all the fans for explaining the mix up,” he said, “It all makes sense now. We have similar misunderstood phrases for Geordies in London.

“The Newcastle fans are the most knowledgeable and patient fans in the country. Or, as we would say back in the Big Smoke, they’re all a bunch of thick Northern f*ckwits.” :lol: :lol: :lol:


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Re: NAMING RIGHTS FOR ANFIELD

Postby Phil(Quassie)Baldwin » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:30 am

You got the last sentance spot on.

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Re: NAMING RIGHTS FOR ANFIELD

Postby tigger » Sat Nov 12, 2011 6:08 am

I think a good name for Liverpools ground would be

HUB CAPS "R" US


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