While he was "flying" down the road yesterday (4 miles per hour over the limit), a man passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled him over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which he replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," he responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
Well," he said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until! I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."
And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.
To which he politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket £95.00
Court Costs. £45.00
The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS.