A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A beautiful
woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides because
she`s got a uniform on, she`s probably an off-duty flight attendant. So he
decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she
flies for, thereby impressing her greatly. He leans across to her and says
the Delta Airlines motto `We love to fly and it shows`.
The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto `Winning the
hearts of the world`. Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled
look on her face. Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the
Malaysian Airlines motto `Going beyond expectations`.
The woman looks at him sternly and says `What the f*** do you want?` `Ah!`
he says, sitting back with a smile on his face. `Ryanair
3 mates are walking to the pub, 1 Bootneck and 2 Matelots. When crossing
the road to get to the pub a speeding car runs over and kills the Royal.
The Police turn up and ask the jacks the name of the deceased, they say 'I
don't know', the cop asks them if they knew where he lived, they say 'I
don't know. The copper is getting fed up and says, 'Do you know anything
about this bloke' and one jack says 'Well he's got 2 arseholes', the cop
says, 'How do you know that?' and the matelot says, 'Well every time we go
into the pub the barman always says, here's that bootneck with the 2
As it is, so mote it be.